They all came – most of them from across the seas.

They saw – while we tried to see why we had to see them.

Alas, none of them conquered.

The opening report of the opening ceremony of IPL 3 was supposed to be a blockbuster opening. It was supposed to enhance your TGIF moment!

Unfortunately, it did anything but that. The inauguration lacked style and glitz. Big is not always beautiful. And a sprawling D Y Patil Stadium in suburban Navi Mumbai was not to be blamed.

The crowds were there. Loyalists, turned out in fan colours. Blobs of KKR’s purple and the Deccan’s blues dotted the landscape. Missing in action was the thrill, excitement and verve that has come to be associated with the instant form of the gentleman’s game.

If first impressions are to be taken seriously, this evening’s bash at DY Patil lacked energy. Lacklustre performances dented the IPL Quotient. The congregation of Abba Revival, Akon and Ali Campbell all seemed like a retro fit. Mamma Mia! at DY Patil was a no-showing! Except for the luminous blue eye-shadow on the Abba Revival!

A double-chinned, jaded Ali Campbell of UB40 fame didn’t make us fall in love. With him. With those at his side decked in a dull grey. With the poorly orchestrated apology of a dance number. A don’t-know-how-I-got-here Lionel Ritchie came and went. Deepika Padukone tried adding some glitz and glamour with her presence. She also tried to invoke the crowd with her “Mumbai, are we ready to twist?” number. Sadly, the gyrations from Love Aaj Kal and her recent outing Karthik Calling Karthik lacked rhythm. The psychedelic costumes were of not much help, either.

The overall choreography at IPL 3 sucked. Touted as a blitz of cricketainment, it was pretty lame. The energy was missing. Lalit Modi should have got a Saroj Khan or Vaibhavi Merchant to make people dance. Or better still, even a Mithun da would have been better. At least he still has his moves right.

The only thing that kept the show going was the laser show. And Jai Ho for that! The rest seemed like a blast from the past. From the costumes to the choreographed steps to the choice of performers themselves!

After watching the Opening Ceremony of the Indian Premier League in its third avatar, it felt like a WTF moment!
For the love of the game, I hope this is not the beginning of the end.

I seriously hope not.

This post originally appeared here